You do not want to watch Challo Driver, you'd rather sit at home and read a book 

Cast: Kainaz Motiwala, Vickrant Mahajan, Prem Chopra, Blue eyeliner, Green eyeliner, Purple eyeliner, Audi SUV

Director: Vickrant Mahajan 

Rating: 1.5/5

The nicest thing that can be said about Challo Driver is that it’s not atrocious. That said, there’s nothing good about the film.The story is that of a slave-driver-with-a-heart Arjun Kapoor (played by Mr. director, writer and story teller, Vickrant Mahajan himself) and a typical Punjabi girl with an attitude Tanaya Malhotra (Kainaz Motivala).

Tanaya, in need of money in order to start her own adventure travel agency, slips into the driver' s seat to play chauffeur to Arjun and that is what the entire film revolves around, a woman doing a man's job and dealing with the verbal sexual harassment that follows women stepping out of conventional roles.

I’m sure the film was supposed to be a comment on feminism and the film stays true to it in quite a few ways but slips again and again in order to make it the typical Mills & Boons saga it turns out to be.

The film progresses as a very simple straight-up tale of love slowly blooming between the two (who didn't see that coming), In fact it is so simple that Mahajan doesn't even bother introducing a harrowing enough twist to give the story any depth. I don't know whether to appreciate the simplicity of it, or yawn.

The film is categorised as a "rom-com." Now, is it a 'rom'? Yes, most definitely, the romance is just waiting to happen from the very first scene, but is it a 'com'? Only the scenes involving Manoj Pahwa, who gives a hilarious performance as Tanaya's loud and obnoxious Pappu uncle from Jalandhar who starts all his sentences with "oye..", qualify as comedy.

The performances are strictly average. After her strong performance in Ragini MMS, the bar was set high but Motivala, sadly, falls short. While there are moments where she is charming, she looks too made up and delivers her dialogues like an 8-year-old in a school play. Mahajan should have stuck to direction and let an actual actor with actual acting skills take the lead. Prem Chopra is okay but not worth going on about, and what VJ Juhi is doing in the film with her blank face and flat dialogue delivery is beyond me.

There are movies that stand up for women’s rights and there are those like this that sit down on women’s wrongs. In the same way the superflop, Hema Malini’s directorial misadventures, ‘Challo Driver’ is one such cinematic zit that is nurtured into becoming malignant. If this film actually had a decided moral, it must be that women can do everything. This includes being highly qualified but picking a job that befits an illiterate only because they’re also adventurous and stupidly stubborn and stubbornly stupid. And girls just wanna have… at your cost (since you will pay for the multiplex ticket). Prostration guaranteed.

'Talk to the eyeliner since the rest don't want to hear anymore!'

Tanya Malhotra (Kainaz Motiwala) is an occupation-less yet fiercely driven and sharply competitive girl. So one day when her friend dares her to consider becoming a chauffeur since its ‘different’ and daring and unassuming, the three adjectives bring a glint in her eye and she jumps at the offer. After a personal interview with the passenger’s grandpa (Prem Chopra), she’s hired at a salary of Rs 50,000/ per month+perks on a 6-month contract. Most of this money is then invested in eyeliners (blue, green and purple) as you see her (from the very next scene) bordering her eyes so emphatically like she was trying to keep out illegal immigrants.

Let's make a sequel and call it 'Chalo Conductor.'

Tanya has been hired as a driver for Arjun (Vickrant Mahajan), a grumpy blackberry boy who is difficult to suffer for his idiosyncratic habits. But Arjun’s grandpa’s not-so-secret plan to hire Tanya as his ‘pota’s’ driver is to turn his outlook to life over its head. And how does Tanya manage that? Let’s revisit this old phrase to learn how, ‘I used to feel bad about being shunned for digging my nose in public until I met a man who had no fingers’. Well, this may not be the precise phrase but it conveys the same message.

A few retarded dares are hurled between driver and passenger and since Arjun is only more competitive and less practical, the two land up in some unmentionable situations that eventually teach them both a few lessons of life. Arjun learns that drivers are human beings and deserve air-conditioning and music, while Tanya learns that experimenting with eyeliners can be distracting enough to mute anything you have to say. A painful love story begins with a constipated realisation, "Mujh mein bhi feelings hain. Special feelings." We don't want to know. Seriously, stop!

Following a promising debut in Ragini MMS, Kainaz Motiwala seems smudged and blotchy and we’re not referring to her eye makeup which could be surely bag a few ‘Best supporting role’ nominations.

The concept behind Challo Driver is decent enough but a bad script, uninspiring performances and the dialogues ruin what could have been a feel-good flick.

Should you watch this film? No. There must be better ways to spend your time, like go watch The Dark Knight Rises instead, because only a fool of a director will release his film, with Nolan’s.